Thursday, January 19th, 2012. Fifth visit to Iwaki.
I arrived just as Rion was getting home from school. It was nice to see her as I drove up and parked at the Suzuki home. I knocked and was greeted by my mother-in-law and father-in-law, and invited to sit down in the family room by my father-in-law. Rion changed her clothes and came down shortly thereafter. She went to the kitchen and returned with two ice cream bars, one for her and one for daddy. We hugged and talked and I showed her some video from three/four years ago back in Canada. She enjoyed seeing herself and her sisters. She particularly enjoyed seeing her littlest sister Julia as a toddler. “Kawaii”, Rion said.
Rion did her homework as I watched quietly. She explained what she was doing in Japanese and I encouraged her. She showed me her 100% mark from her last quiz, with considerable pride. Unfortunately, she has great difficulty speaking English now. Despite that fact, we were able to have significant communication together. We talked about many things, including March 11th, 2011 and the subsequent radiation. She indicated she had been quite scared of the giant earthquake and that the friend that was with her on that day had cried. She said that she had seen the tsunami on the news and how it had devastated Sendai. We spoke of the fact that it had also inundated an area just 10 km north of her house in Iwaki, near the coast.
We were together from 3:30 p.m. until 6:30 pm. Her grandfather shared the living room with us and we interacted as best we could. My middle daughter Lauren, who has been alienated against me, did not come downstairs. I hope that she will join us in the near future. The poor darling is suffering the effects of Taiko’s actions of blocking my communication and access with the children. Parental alienation is a terrible form of child abuse. Thankfully Rion is less affected by it and can enjoy time with her dad.
I was intending to remain until Taiko came home from work ( 7 p.m.) in order to speak with her about arranging future visits thereby eliminating the random nature of my appearances and the surprise created by them.
At 6:30 p.m., my brother-in-law arrived to the house in an angered state. He demanded that I leave. I told him, respectfully, that I would. I indicated to him that I had been waiting to speak with Taiko upon her arrival home from work. I bid farewell to Rion with a hug and kisses and departed.
My brother-in-law followed me outside, calling to me. He indicated with considerable displeasure that it was his wish that I do not return to his parents home claiming that it disturbs them and their routine. He indicated his extreme displeasure with this blog and my videos. I apologized to him for causing any disharmony for his mother. I told him that I would like to acquiesce to his request but that in order to do so, I would need to be able to arrange a visit with the children in another location, such as a park or restaurant nearby. I reminded him that I had tried to do so with him previously. I informed him that I had given my telephone numbers to his sister but that without her calling and arranging something with me, all I could do was what I was currently doing – visit my children at their home. He said the obvious, that Taiko did not want to do so. He told me to use the saiban (court). I told him that I had discussed that with Taiko on Dec. 26th and why would we waste money on lawyers when we could use that money for our children. I asserted that children need both parents in order to grow up happy, healthy and well adjusted. He said that was just my opinion. I asked if he had ever read any child psychology information because if he had then he would know that my statement was a fact and not an opinion. His response was that some doctors say one thing and some doctors say another. It was clear to me that he believes that the Japanese way of handling things post separation and divorce is the preferred method. (This is logical considering he is Japanese.)
He told me not to come back to the house. (I have been told this on every occasion). I indicated that I was coming to see my daughters so that they know that they are dearly loved by their father. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was going to continue to come and see my daughters and give them gifts from dad. I requested that he ask his sister to call me and arrange the next visit. I told him that if she did so, I would abide by their wishes to meet the children elsewhere in order that no discomfort be created for his parents. I told him that if he and his sister would simply act like adults and consider the children’s needs before their own it would be helpful. I explained that without communication things would continue the same way, I would continue to come and see my children at this house where they live. (It was at this time that he mentioned the police. I did not acknowledge his comment). I stated very clearly, without fear and with respect, that I would not stop coming to see my children. I explained that they need to know they have a father who loves them. I again referred to child psychologist’s reports that children can suffer greatly when they are denied contact with their parents.
It was clear to me that we were not going to reach any kind of consensus with our discussion. I chose to depart rather than getting upset with him. He softened briefly and wished me a safe drive back to Tokyo. I wished him well and told him to look after himself and his family. We shook hands and I departed.
I have not heard from Taiko. She refuses to act like an adult and communicate with me for the purposes of visitation with the children. It is abundantly clear to me that they would like me to go away and never return.
I will return.
I will, as I always have, treat my in-laws with respect, but I will not go away forever as they wish. That I cannot do.
I will continue to try to have this family come to the realization that their present course of action is harming the very children that they purport to love. They believe that it is in the best interests of my children to remain undisturbed by their own father. I reject that entirely.
I am doing what I am doing for my children. I believe the overwhelming evidence from medical professionals worldwide supports my actions. Children need both parents.
This is not easy for me. If I were to choose an easier path or course of action however, I could not live with myself.
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a burden that a child is forced to bear when one parent fails to recognize their child’s strong need to love and be loved by the other parent. I will not allow my children to continue to be damaged by this abuse.
One day my children will be old enough to realize what has occurred.
Rion, Lauren and Julia – Your father loves you very much. I am very sorry for what you are being forced to endure. I am trying very hard to make this situation better, despite your mom’s lack of communication and efforts to block me from you. I fervently hope that she soon decides to help make things better.